The Dangers of Dating an Amazing Woman
Yesterday, I made a quick 5 min stop at my parents’ house to drop off my mom’s digital camera (which I had “borrowed” from them in July, and didn’t bother returning, since neither of them know how to use it). Tomorrow my parents are going on a trip, and wanted to finally use the camera for themselves.
I could make an entire post about the craziness of having to teach your parents how to operate a device that they themselves bought because it was a “good deal”, yet never got around to using for at least 2 years after the fact. I could write about how I’m anticipating a phone call two days from now, saying that they’ve pushed some button, and now can’t seem to get the screen to work, or how they can’t remember how to delete pictures. I could write about those things, but I won’t.
What I am going to write about is what my father said as soon as he came lumbering into the front hall to meet me at the door. His first words were “Where’s Larissa?”
“She went home dad,” I replied. “She had some work to do to get ready for Monday.”
“So what?”, said my dad. “We just want to see her, we don’t care about you!”
Now, I know my father is kidding. Probably. Granted, I don’t call them very often, or drop by regularly, despite the fact that they live less than 5 min away from me. But when you don’t move out until 2 weeks before your 30th birthday, you figure that maybe putting some distance between them and you is not a bad idea for both parties.
But the simple truth is that everyone loves my girlfriend. How can I blame them? I myself love her, and so prove myself completely at the mercy of her charms.
I know that if Larissa and I ever break up, I will be severing myself forever from any hope of receiving an inheritance from my family. And not because my parents would write me out of the will. Because my parents already have written me out of the will, and have given everything to Larissa. My only option is to marry her, so that I can claim my share of the spoils.
Well that goes without saying. The only reason anyone hangs out with you is for what you either have, own or can offer. Kind of like the reason you hung out with me the first time only to gain access to my Super Nintendo. Yes everyone, Darren is a user so Larissa, beware. Ha Ha
Ten
Comment by The Ten — October 25, 2005 @ 8:57 pm
Darren, I’ve never seen you like this! This is fun. I want to poke you with a stick. I hope she doesn’t mind having her face plastered all over your site. I can totally picture your Dad lumbering around, too. I feel like I’m right there.
Comment by reneedo — October 28, 2005 @ 3:24 am